Saturday, September 13, 2008

Back in the Bloggin Saddle

I've been away from blogging for the past month but I'm back now. I was contemplating my reasons for having a blog in the first place and some of my motivations behind it. I'm afraid that some of what I discovered wasn't over flattering.

First off, I'm somewhat lazy and blogging daily or semi-daily takes at least some time and thought. So one must have a rudiment of discipline to carry it off. I've decided to work more diligently on that. Another "reason" I guess, while being brutally honest, is that I thought/fantasized that a gazillion people would read my blog and thereby I would gain some sort of status/recognition/fame or other such idiotic pipe dream.

This of course is bullshit. But I will use this space to get shit off my chest, deal with it.


Sunday, August 10, 2008

What does winning look like?

Once again McCain is pounding on Obama for "defeatism" in his stand on the war in Iraq. Says McCain to a convention of disabled vets, "Both candidates in this election pledge to end this war and bring our troops home. The great difference is that I intend to win it first." Okay,'ve said time and again that you intend the USA to win the war. Tell me, what does winning look like?

Is it turning Iraq into a sheet of radioactive glass? Oh, maybe it is when the whole population drops their copies of the Qur'an, picks up the Bible and shouts praises to Cheezus? Or could it be when Shiites and the Sunnis throw down their guns, link arms and sing Kumbaya?

What is it Mr. McCain? If we are to "win" this war, please tell us what it will look like so that we can know when it happens.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Why Timid?

Sooner or later someone is bound to bust my chops for hiding in the closet with my atheistic beliefs. So I'll get that out of the way now.

I'm not a scientist, philosopher or professional author, just an ordinary guy in his mid 50's who has come to embrace a rational view of the universe, skeptical of all things woo and of a religious nature (is that redundant?). But I'm not in a position (or rather I'm too chickenshit) to openly acknowledge my beliefs or lack there of. Why? Fear.

Mainly I fear for my livelihood. Living and working in a very conservative part of southern Oregon surrounded by followers of Cheezus, I fear their reactions to my rejection of what they hold most dear. I'm in the retail fashion business and work one on one with people on a daily basis and I'm quite sure business would suffer if people were to become aware of my true thoughts about their religious delusions. Not to mention the owner of the company I work for is of the religious persuasion. So I fear for my job from that direction too.

Also, while my mother is a somewhat more liberal follower of Jeebus than the local yokels, I fear that "look" that I'm sure to get; one of pity and extreme disappointment and then fear for my non-existent soul. I was kind of the black sheep of the family and I greatly hesitate to add another disappointment to her list. I love my mother and will do all in my power now to prevent any hurt to her aging self. So, rather than confront religious delusions around her and my family I pretend to embrace them. Yes, it makes me feel kind of dirty and I'm not proud of myself in the least when I do that. But the white lie prevents further hurt.

Someday, I may rise above that. Indeed, someone could convince me that I'm doing more hurt by remaining in the closet. But until that happens I shall remain a timid, chickenshit and anonymous atheist.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

First post!

Funny, when I thought that I wanted a start a blog to record my thoughts, fears, hopes and bitches I was swamped with words flowing effortlessly from my fingertips to the electronic page. Now that the blog is a reality I am overwhelmed with the process and can't think of a damned thing to say. I promise that will end.

I expect the look and feel of my efforts here will evolve as will my ideas and the thinking behind them. This isn't just a form of literary masturbation but a living and growing learning process for me and maybe for some of you.

Share your thoughts with me as I will share mine with you. I know that there are others out there who for one reason or another remain closeted atheists. Maybe we'll connect on some level or maybe have a great frakking war of words. So it goes.